I’ve started seeing pumpkins everywhere and I know it’s too soon, but seeing a bunch of pumpkins all stacked up looks damn good, like god’s six-pack abs.
Passions this week include: fake turkey sandwich, tru froot, and keeping the heating pad out.
Okay listen, I’m about to sound like one of those trendy t-shirts from 5 years ago: Bread, mayonaise, tomatoes, fake turkey, banana peppers. BUT THESE ARE GOOD TOGETHER! One time when we were working on Joe Pera Talks With You in Milwaukee, someone came up to my friend and asked what the show was, and when my friend said the title, the guy goes, “Joe Peppers?” And how great would it be if it was about a guy named Joe Peppers? Joe Peppers has a daughter named Banana Peppers, and she goes to Montessori school? She’s 7? We’re riffing, we’re riffing…
I got this stuff in the frozen aisle of the grocery store, and I think it’s called Tru Froot or Fruit Truth or Truit, something like that, but it’s frozen fruit covered in chocolate. For me, the best thing about the grocery store is walking home while eating something you got in your bag. Chips or cookies does the trick, but these little cold chocolate things are pretty fun. I got raspberries covered in white chocolate + milk chocolate and they eat like modern bon bons.
I used to keep the heating pad in a drawer, and every time someone was moaning in agony, I’d dig through the drawer to find the heating pad. Nowadays, I keep the heating pad plugged in and flopped on top of a chair. It’s the heating pad chair. That’s the chair you sit in when you’re moaning in agony and it’s time to get warm!
And now some from the readers…
Levi: “My passion is the second you feel the Tums get to work. Over the last year my heartburn has turned from a minor problem to a full blown personality trait, but there are times when popping one or a lot of Tums turns it all around in seconds. They’re like Necco wafers’ younger sibling who went to med school.”
Chris: “I’m passionate about the barn swallows that have been roosting on my front porch light at dusk. Did you know 99% of their diet is flying insects? That seems difficult to catch! I’ve been keeping my porch light off for them so they feel hidden. Started with two, now there are four to six gathered there each night. They’ve started becoming more comfortable with me, I think.”
Angela: “I enjoy saying hi to the birds on my walks around the neighborhood. It makes me feel like we are friends. Today, I said hi to a hawk and felt pretty badass!”
If you have a passion, you can reply to this email with 1-2 sentences about it. Doesn’t even have to be about birds.